..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
