I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
