Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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