oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
