I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
