Already got asked if we're dating
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
