You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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