I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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