I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
