It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You've changed since you got that strap on
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
