Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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