im gay
i know
yea but for you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
