let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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