A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
