dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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