Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
