I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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