So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
