i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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