i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
