i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
