so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
