He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
