Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Vodka?
Forever.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
