So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
