Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
they need to just BURY HIM!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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