if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
