Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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