Where are you?
In a non slutty way
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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