just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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