'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
