Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
