Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
