You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
