Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
