So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
