Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
