I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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