I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
