woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
