sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
