I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
