Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
