I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
