He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
