We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
