you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
