We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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