Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
