don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
