Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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