I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
